Archive for the ‘lays’ Category

I’ve started noticing patterns in my interactions and one of them that stands out is that with most of the girls I’ve actually had sex with off of an online dating site, the setup prior to the date is pretty easy.  With the dates that never led anywhere, there was always either a scheduling conflict or a girl deliberately negotiates stuff for no reason at all.

I get a message on Saturday from this Russian girl on match.  I set up a meeting with her that same night.   I proposed that we meet at a certain bar at a certain time.  Not only did the bar in question not work for her, but she wanted to negotiate the exact time that we met.  I tried to do everything via text message but she insisted that I call.  So I call and propose a 9:30 meet and she’s all like “Can we meet earlier?” So I agreed at first to 9pm.  I was walking home from shopping so I texted her the address of the bar and she texts back, “Can we do midtown?” and I just text her back “no”.  She finally agrees with me but ends up being late anyway.  To make a long story short, I ended up  walking out of the date because the vibe was so bad.  She asked no questions, she said basically nothing at all for the 20 minutes we were together, and it was a pain in the ass to talk to her.  I finally told her I’m not really enjoying myself and wanted to leave.  So I pay the tab and get the hell out of there.

Now, this is kind of a worst case scenario example but things like this have happened on other dates that ended up just being “average”.  Whenever a girl starts negotiating or rescheduling, I know that my chances of sex on the first date go down precipitously.  She’s telling you how hard a lay she’s going to be.  Pretty much anytime I’ve had sex on the first date, 95% of the time the date is set on my terms.  She’ll meet at the time I propose.  She’ll be on time.  She’ll be flexible about her schedule.  The high maintenance girls take two or three dates, if that at all.  And that’s not necessarily a bad thing, she very well could be a “quality” girl that’s worth waiting it out a bit for (with quality being totally subjective).  The main disadvantage of online dating is that your value to her may be pretty low initially, even if you do have a decent look and profile.  The high maintenance girls present you with an upward battle, the ones that are really looking forward to meeting you are extremely compliant.

Well, maybe “high maintenance” isn’t the best word.  Let’s call them “busy bodies”…professional girls of a certain caliber with a demanding job and lots of side projects they are involved in (i.e organizations, yoga classes, running a 5k, whatever). With them, they try and “fit you in” to their schedule and that kind of stuff never pans out well.  I met a nurse a few weeks ago that’s up at 6:30 in the morning, so she was already time-constrained to a couple of hours by the time we met up one night.  She also couldn’t make it on the Monday we planned because she was sick.  On the other hand, a girl I’m currently seeing who works at a non-profit had a schedule where she was working from home the next Friday morning.  So it was pretty easy for me to invite her back to my place.  And she also didn’t have any trouble showing up on time (even though she came all the way from bk) , didn’t try to reschedule, and didn’t try to negotiate minor details.  Those three things are the main checkpoints I use now.

closing out 2011

Posted: January 3, 2012 in dates, lays

Well I had a few interesting weeks to close out the year.

A little before the holiday, I met up with a Latin girl I met online.  She was down to meet the same day that we were messaging each other.  To make a long story short, we had a couple of drinks at my new date spot (which is literally right down the street) and I invited her up to check out something.  I literally forgot what I asked her to check out, I think it was either some kind of music or something on tv.  We start making out, I get my fingers in the pussy.  I get a little resistance, something like “We shouldn’t be doing this!” and I deflect that somehow by just saying something similar to throwing back the objection.  In short, I close.

Went on a date with an Italian girl who was asking a ton of questions.  She was interested for sure and asked me a ton of things like “Do I look like my pic online?” and throwing all sorts of player accusations at me.  I invited her up to watch some comedy show I really like (Patrice O’Neal, RIP) and she had a time constraint due to the holidays.  On the date, she asks me out for the following Wednesday and I agree.  When Wednesday rolls around though, she doesn’t show up.  I just forget about it but she hits me up on Friday.  My roomate was throwing a party and I invite her in.  She walks in, clearly done up, and bought a bottle of wine.  Our apartment is crowded so we just go into my room and watch the comedy show.  Beforehand, I just ramp up the conversation and talk about sex, how women like it, etc etc. I close the deal pretty easily.

Went out with a black girl, the first one in a long time.   To be pretty honest, I’ve avoided black girls since I moved into the city but this one was fucking gorgeous.  She had been flaky as hell prior to the meetup because I pushed drinks a little bit before the holiday and didn’t get a response.  I think there was some friendly chemistry, I could tell she was attracted.  But I tried to push her to listen to some music or something and found out that she works at Starbucks at 7am.   Needless to say, it didn’t happen.  I followed up a few days later but no response.

To start out 2012,  I went out with this redheaded Russian girl from the midwest.  Everything was pretty cool, I could tell she was attracted to me.  I had a built-in excuse to bounce to my place: “We threw a party and I have some leftover bottles of wine, help me finish one” and she said ok.  The more I date, the better I get at pulling because timing is pretty much everything.  I proposed it right after the waiter asked if I wanted another round.  Anyway, we get to the place, she gets a bit comfortable, I pour some wine, and we go into the room.  About 10 minutes in, I go for the kiss.  We start making out, I start going for her pussy, and get blocked.  So I break it off a little bit and just cuddle with her.  I think I went in again too fast because even though she was horny, she was blocking.   She goes to the bathroom and then is kind of like, “I gotta go”, but stays a little bit longer and makes out.  I get to suck some tits, but that’s about it.

Had a date with this blonde girl I met on NYE in Brooklyn.  I could tell she was into me, but I couldn’t get anything done that night because of her bad logistics.  Our date went well until I invited her up for a bottle of wine.  Then it went downhill fast since she initially accepted, and then backed off as we were leaving the bar.  Didn’t call her again after that.  Win some, lose some

About two weeks ago, I get a message from a little cute Japanese girl from OKcupid.  Her location said London, but she was in the city two weeks.  She wanted to meet up that same night.   Eventually, we meet up around 11pm, talk, and I invite her back to my house to listen to some music.  In short, I closed her probably within two hours of meeting her.

Last weekend, I took out a cute redhead on a 2nd date from POF who initially flaked on me.  The backstory about her is that:

I proposed a drink date and she was kinda doing the rescheduling thing via text.  I reassured her that we were only going to hang out for an hour or so to get to know each other.  After I said that, she texted “To be honest, I’m not interested in meeting up with anyone right now”.  I wished her well and that was it.  I deleted the whole text conversation and forgot about it.

About a month later, she texts me and asks if I want to hang out.  I honestly had been on a lot of various dates since then, and forgot about the whole thing.  I called her up just so I could remember who the fuck she was and then it clicked.  She was in the city kind of tipsy but asked to see me right then.  She wanted to meet in midtown but I insisted on her coming to my neighborhood.  We meet, make out, have a few drinks, and she payed a little bit of the bill because my card actually got declined! I make up a BS excuse about all of my christmas shopping and apologize.  She then comes up to my place for a few minutes to use the bathroom.  I try to turn on some music and we dance a bit, makeout some more.   She was trying to get out of there though, it was late, she was drunk as hell, and we both had to go to work.

We go on a 2nd date on Friday, this time with me taking her out to a restaurant (had a groupon though) and going to another bar for drinks.  She slept over but really wouldn’t let me do anything besides kiss her.

With the redhead, I’m wondering now if I went from Lover to Provider mode.  Been checking out Chase Amante’s blog post on paying for things.  I’m definitely going to keep it in mind if/when we meet again.   My card got declined and she ended up paying for a little less than half, and we still hung out the following Friday.  So, I’d rather be in the potential Lover category instead of starting things out displaying typical husband/boyfriend behavior.   The Japanese girl bought her own drinks.   I blew my opportunity with this blonde Dutch girl a few weeks ago after I got mad at her (long story, don’t feel like sharing).  But she was all over me at one point in terms of making out and kissing.  But she really really wanted to pay! I’m going to keep this in mind a bit more while dating so much. Women who want to pay tend to either do it out of politeness or they like me.

a lil latin love

Posted: October 7, 2011 in lays

Ok, so nightgame did bear me some fruit despite my constant loathing of it as of late.  Last Friday, I went out to a rooftop bar and met a girl that I had actually met at another bar a few weeks ago.   She’s a hot Dominican girl with wild hair.  The first time, she got pulled away by her friends.  Generally, I didn’t think I’d get a second chance so when I saw her, I approached. It went much warmer than the first time since she recognized who she was and I was teasing her about her looking like a particular actress.  Logistically, her sister was with her so I didn’t push for much besides a date. So I got a date settled for Thursday.

No real phone game needed, except solidifying the meeting through text.  She has to go to a company dinner the same night so we end up rescheduling for 10. 

She shows up and we really start chatting away at the first bar I took her to.  I go for the kiss twice and get the cheek.  But every now and then, I would touch other parts of her body after key points in the conversation because she did the same thing.   We walk to a second bar which ended up being perfect.  They were playing a little reggaeton and she liked it.  So we danced a bit, another excuse for me touching her.  I start making bigger physical moves like kissing her neck on the dancefloor as she’s dancing with me.  Finally, we make out after she was still trying to have me kiss her cheek.   It was getting kinda hot and we’re on the couch making out like crazy.  Finally, I suggest that we go some place else and she agrees. 

We get to my house, and she says something like “Why are we here?” and I say that I need to smoke a black & mild.  Whatever.  So we just go into my room and she climbs in my bed.  It was probably 2:30 and we watch some TV a little bit.  But when I made moves, she doesn’t resist at all.  Closed the deal pretty easily.

okcupid is easier that night game

Posted: October 4, 2011 in dates, lays, the game

So I’ve still been going out and doing night game but I’ve been bored by it lately.  It just seems like going through the motions at times.  Various things have happened during the past few weeks to make me consider doing more approaches in the day time and/or only going out at night if it’s a social thing, not to “sarge”.  It’s honestly just making me misogynistic in a way because it’s like you’re looking at women at their best dressed combined with their worst attitudes thanks to a  alcohol and constant male attention.   I had a girl that I tried to approach walk up to me, make out with me, and leave without saying a word.  I had some other girl get all creeped out because I was at the bar alone one Friday night..and that’s after she started kissing my neck and making out with me.  Basically, I’m not excited by it anymore and probably need a few weeks off just to build up some anticipation and excitement for it.   Besides that, I’ve had some problems with the manager at my local spot, a spot I spend a lot of money at.

This 20 second clip summarizes my feelings about going out at night right now.

I started going hard on pof and okcupid 3 weeks ago and I like my results, 2 weeks 2 lays. Here’s a general breakdown

Went out with this tall, blonde, hipsterish girl.  We sent a few messages back and I asked her out pretty soon.  She actually accepts for that same Thursday night.   So we end up meeting at a bar but we leave so I could get a slice of pizza.  We then go to the hookah bar I’ve been taking my dates to.  We sit down, talk for about an hour, and then agree to go to another place.  I do a little bit of hand holding on the way just to see how comfortable she is with me.  We sit down at the other place and I go in for a little peck like 10 minutes in.  She starts touching my neck, touching my crotch, so I know it’s on but I didn’t do too much to kill the sexual tension.  While we were talking about music, she was talking about this group she really liked.  She suggested that we go dance at this place that we both talked about but I wasn’t for it.  I instead suggested that we go listen to her band and she got the innuendo.  So we grab some beers on the way to my place and then we go into my room.  I just load up my Pandora to play her music and she’s pretty relaxed.  I  close about 30 minutes in.

Last week, I went out with this short blonde girl.  I was very straightforward just like the last girl to get her out.  We set up a date for Thursday.  She comes to my area but ends up forgetting her id.  So instead of going to my planned hookah spot, I go get two bottles of wine.  My backup plan was to go to a BYOB hookah place but the owner ends up checking ID’s.  rats.  So instead I just go straight to my house and we chill in my room for about 4 hours or so.  As far as closing that night, it didn’t happen but she told me her weekend schedule was wide open.  So we meet on saturday, go out near her area,  and I slept over at her place and closed.

The first one is not going to be around at all, the second one probably will.  But honestly, the things I have to deal with when I’m out at night (cockblocking, rude staffs) don’t exist in online game so I’m going to keep it up.


date & lay with the Humiliatrix

Posted: August 26, 2011 in dates, lays

So Humiliatrix came through, took the train about 40 minutes to see me.  I got nervous that she was totally blowing me off because she texts me “Hey! Are you down because it’s a 40 minute train ride and my roomate made chicken”.  Mind you, I already set the date up on like Sunday night or something.  So I was really getting pissed because I thought she wouldn’t show.  She texts me at 7:30 saying she finished eating and is on her way.  At around 8:45, I get a call from her because she’s lost.  So I walk over and meet her at the train station. 

The first thing I notice is that she’s shorter than what I remembered, fucking heels.  But she’s cute though.  The first thing I guess we talk about is that she thought I was YOUNGER than her (24), and didn’t believe I was 30 at all.  I guess that’s why I’ve started doing nightgame at the younger places and always had a hunch that I’d do well there.  Anyway, we go straight to my house, under the premise of me texting her “I’ve got a suprise!” I sent her a text of a bar near my place earlier, but I just don’t even bother going there. 

She walks in, and I reveal my suprise: vodka and limes.  The night I met her, she wanted to do body shots.  And she texted me another day about them.  So I figured we could do them at my place.  So I make a bowl of sugar and we head into my room.  At first, she wouldn’t even sit down, but she got warmer afterwards.  The first 20-30 minutes was pretty dicey because she knew what was up, but I just kept being sarcastic, cracking jokes, and eventually she relaxed.  We do body shots and she really licks the sugar all over my neck, getting me all worked up.  I return the favor.  I give her a little peck on the lips and I’m getting a little resistance to go further.  She wants to change into some of my pajama pants so I give her a pair and put on my own pair as well.  A few more shots.  All during this time, she’s giving me shit about my musical taste, the date itself, how I just want to fuck her, etc etc.  At some point, I did say, “yea, you wouldn’t be here if I didn’t think you were sexy”.  Anyway, we’re laying on the bed and she’s pushing me to tell her more stuff about me because I do think at that point, she was thinking about having sex with me but just wanted to know who I am.  So I oblige and open up and she opens up in return.  There’s probably another kiss attempt made here, rejection.  We’re laying down, giving each other eye contact, silence. 

We plan on going to a bar because she wanted to go on an ‘adventure’.  Then she wants to talk about spirituality and shit and we argue about that for awhile.  She gets all mad because I don’t agree with her and at this point, I’m getting annoyed.  But we’re still kind of grabbing each other and stuff, I pick her up and kiss her a bit while I take her to the bathroom.  We leave and she gets on the phone for 10 minutes to check her voicemail in the hallway.  Then she forgets her keys and I tell her she’s annoying me.

We finally start walking to the bar and she’s still giving me shit about spirituality and my lack of it.  Whatever.  And as we sit down, she gets all apologetic about it thinking that she somehow wants to impose her views on me.  FINALLY, I found one commonality that we had: we both enjoy “Breaking Bad” so we plan on going back to my place to see it.  She gets all excited.  All of the physicality at this point is from her to me, her legs on my lap, her kissing my neck, her kissing me. 

We’re walking back and I’m rapping the song that was just on in the bar and she starts insulting me about that.  We’re both drunk at this point.  And when you’re drunk, you buy stupid shit.  So we go to the deli near my place and buy a fucking pineapple because she wanted one.  And I wanted a black&mild cigar.  We walk into my place and she starts cutting the pineapple and asks for my help.  Then she starts taking her clothes off right in my living room.  She goes and jumps in my bed and I come in still smoking my black & mild.  She takes a few drags and then she’s just kind of laying there.  I get on top, start talking dirty, grab a condom, and I’m finally in after all of that BS.  She’s actually a pretty decent fuck, I’m going to try and keep this one around.  She leaves the next morning, right when I leave before work.  Thank goodness for alarm clocks, because I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to make it to work today.

SNL – I get my Irish flag

Posted: July 31, 2011 in lays

Last night, I almost didn’t go out.  My muscles are hella sore from the workout I did on Friday and my lower back, parts of my abs, hamstrings, and quads are still recovering.  I slept a ton and ate and that was it.  But finally at about 10, I text M to see what he’s up to.  He’s in the LES doing street game with some other guys so I decide to join in.

I get there, and we roam around for a good few hours.  I hook in this one blonde girl sitting down and we start talking, I went in indirect and just chatted about bars. She wanted to listen to music on her iphone and I went with it.  So we listen to music for about 10 minutes and then I just give her my phone to punch in after getting to know a few basics about her.  It was a sloppy number close.   The good thing is that M saw the whole thing and critiqued it and said that I gave into her frame instead of going with my own conversational topics.  Point taken.

I approach more black girls than usual because there were some cute ones out.  One was on a date but the other two hooked.

There was nothing else really notable about that few hours of street game for me personally.   I was just mainly out of my comfort zone, even though I should be semi-comfortable with street game since I’ve done it more often.  One of M’s protege’s went into this group where there was one girl and two guys and he put his arm around her.  One of the guys is even looking at him pissed off but he stays in with his arm around her.  He didn’t get anywhere with the girl, but it was just a ballsy approach.

We do a few more approaches, and then I end up going back to my favorite bar.  I go in and order a drink and take a quick survey of the landscape.  There’s two cute girls that are in the corner near me.  I see this old guy with the longest dreads I’ve seen in awhile get blown out by this very cute girl who is with another very cute girl.  I open by just pointing out how her body language said “get away from me” but her friend is more interested and her friend is local (one is visiting from DC, the other lives in Queens).  We then go into this conversation about the whole bar scene and survey the room to talk about who is hooking up and who is not.  I have to break it down that just because they are making out doesn’t mean they are hooking up.  If these two girls saw me last night with the Swiss chick, they would have assumed I was hooking up but I wasn’t.  M comes in to talk to the one visiting from DC.  I tell my girl that I wouldn’t mind seeing her another day.  The conversation pretty much stalls out after that and she leaves.

I go into another set immediately and “save” them from some guy that’s been bothering them all night.  I just tell both of them to start dancing with me so I stick my butt in one girl’s face and then dance with the other.  I honestly don’t remember what we talked about but I number close one of them.  She was the least attractive of the two.

I direct approach this tall brunette a bit later, and we just chat for awhile.  I find out pretty quickly that she’s from Ireland and we talk about accents.  I go for the isolation, asking if she smokes and she says she smokes when she’s drunk.  Perfect.  More small talk outside, telling her a little bit about me.  I go for the peck on the lips at first, it’s good.  After we’re done with our cigarettes, we start making out.  I tell her at first to just come towards my place after she gets rid of her friends and give her my address.  She’s like “OK” but I already know how that’s going to go.  We stayed outside because the bar was closing and her two friends were still in there.   I get introduced to the friends and they want to go eat.  I am like, “I’m hungry too” and go along with them.  Luckily, it ends up being me and the Irish girl walking and her two friends (one male, one female) walking behind us a bit.  We go up near my place and pass it, uh oh.  The one guy is feverishly looking for pizza or anything open and still wants to drink.  So by the time we get near her place, they separate to go look for food.  The Irish girl isn’t really hungry so it’s just me and the Irish girl walking towards her place.  Excellent.

We get there, make out on the elevator because the sexual tension to me was dying off, and get to her room.  She gets me a glass of water.  We eventually just do a ton of foreplay and I pull the condom out from my wallet.  I put it  in, just kind of half-assing it because I was kinda sore and tired at this point (like 5am).  I come and we just talk a bit.  I wake up around noon and walk back to my place.   She’s leaving for Ireland for 5 weeks so I’ll see how this develops.

What was KEY in this scenario..was that I was just very nice and cordial with her two friends and let them fizzle out.  I didn’t even think it was going to go down at one point, especially after we were right on my block looking for an open bar.  And another thing was that I acted as if I was hungry too around the friends, to provide some cover as to why I’m with them.   But I think the guy that was with us helped too, separating the other girl as we were walking.  Another thing is that the Irish girl and the female friend had a quick “girl chat” on the street and I just didn’t pay it any mind and talked to the guy.

ONS with crazy-Canadian

Posted: July 7, 2011 in lays

So it’s Wednesday night and I was feeling a bit ansty.  I text kickbomber to see what he’s up to and he’s rolling to his Wednesday night spot.  I hop on the train and meet up with him.

When we get in, I see this black guy making out with this white chick and I was like “hmm..wonder if that’s a cold approach or that they know each other”.  I make note of it.  I get some beers, and we’re just standing around scoping the place out.

I do a half hearted set and stick my hand out to this tall blonde girl.  No go.  I go into another set to open this blonde girl.  I could tell she wasn’t into me and was kind of creeped out.  Only thing to take note of here is that me and kickbomber were standing in one corner, I approach the girl from the other side and hesitate a bit.  It’s almost as if I startled her.

I go back to the bar and see the girl that was making out with the black guy by herself…or so it seems (I’ll call her Toronto for simplicity’s sake).  It’s pretty much instant attraction, as she leans besides me.  The problem is that she met some short Italian looking dude and he just bought her a drink.  I introduce myself to him, exchange pleasantries, and he grabs her to go to the dance floor.  As she’s walking away, she gives me this sarcastic look and I just wink at her because I know she liked me.

Then there was a huge set of Irish girls, about 10 of them.  One sort of hooks in, asking me about other bars.  She wanders off, then I get talking to some other girl who was yelling in my ear earlier and I told her to shut up.  She was a lot friendlier this time, but she wanders off.  It’s hard to entertain 10 people in a high octane club like that so I leave.

I’m looking back at Toronto and the Italian short dude, and they are close…the problem I saw immediately is that she was teasing him with kissing but she makes out with him anyhow.  Somehow, she ends up grinding on another guy right in front of him.  I then go ask the Italian dude if he bought her a drink.  He denies it, and I tell him that I already saw her making out with some other guy right before him.

He grabs her, and asks if this is true.  She’s too drunk to answer, and I just kind of give him that look like “you just fucked up now”.  But with asking that kind of question, he blew himself out and got emotional with the girl.  I just grab her and continue on.

Making out was easy.  My first attempted “let’s get out of here fails”.  I probably attempted a second time and that failed too.  I’m resisting her kiss attempts a little bit because I had already seen her make out with two guys.  She gets a little mad that she couldn’t get that validation from me and almost walks off.  I keep holding her hand though, and go for her neck.  She then yells excitedly, “you’re a stud!” I then just start talking dirty, telling her all the nasty shit I want to do to her.  Finally, I’m like “you need to cool off, let’s go downstairs”.  She finally follows me.

We don’t go downstairs, we go outside.  The Cab God was shining down upon me and there was a cab waiting right outside.  I just open the door and put her in there and off we go.

We get to my place, she gets out the cab and wanders around for a second.  I just grab her and we go inside.

She’s very drunk.  At this point she’s still asking me what my name is.  I start eating her out but I’m not even fully hard yet because I had all sorts of thoughts going through my mind like “Is this bitch gonna claim I raped her if she wakes up and doesn’t remember me?” So I went in, half erect and she stops me.  I then just try to slow down.  For about 2 hours the pattern is me telling her to go to sleep, her being all excitable and making out with me, me getting hard and fucking her a bit, her stopping before I can even get it really going.  And she was loud as hell, giggly, kind of ditz, and annoying.  I figured I needed more of an emotional connection so I just start getting more personal with her.   In hindsight, a better idea would have been to just stop all escalation, get her to go to sleep, wake up and try fucking her.

Maybe at about 3am, she’s finally opening up to me and telling me who she is.  I sort of understood why she was out doing the stuff she was doing.  She had a date tonight with a guy she had a crush on for two years.  She was confessing to him, crying her eyes out that this guy wanted nothing to do with her.  She was visiting NY from Toronto for 4 days, and I think that this guy was a big reason why she came.  So she ended up at the bar by herself just drinking the pain away and trying to get some validation.   Anyway, she finally leaves at around 4:30