Archive for the ‘dates’ Category

I’ve started noticing patterns in my interactions and one of them that stands out is that with most of the girls I’ve actually had sex with off of an online dating site, the setup prior to the date is pretty easy.  With the dates that never led anywhere, there was always either a scheduling conflict or a girl deliberately negotiates stuff for no reason at all.

I get a message on Saturday from this Russian girl on match.  I set up a meeting with her that same night.   I proposed that we meet at a certain bar at a certain time.  Not only did the bar in question not work for her, but she wanted to negotiate the exact time that we met.  I tried to do everything via text message but she insisted that I call.  So I call and propose a 9:30 meet and she’s all like “Can we meet earlier?” So I agreed at first to 9pm.  I was walking home from shopping so I texted her the address of the bar and she texts back, “Can we do midtown?” and I just text her back “no”.  She finally agrees with me but ends up being late anyway.  To make a long story short, I ended up  walking out of the date because the vibe was so bad.  She asked no questions, she said basically nothing at all for the 20 minutes we were together, and it was a pain in the ass to talk to her.  I finally told her I’m not really enjoying myself and wanted to leave.  So I pay the tab and get the hell out of there.

Now, this is kind of a worst case scenario example but things like this have happened on other dates that ended up just being “average”.  Whenever a girl starts negotiating or rescheduling, I know that my chances of sex on the first date go down precipitously.  She’s telling you how hard a lay she’s going to be.  Pretty much anytime I’ve had sex on the first date, 95% of the time the date is set on my terms.  She’ll meet at the time I propose.  She’ll be on time.  She’ll be flexible about her schedule.  The high maintenance girls take two or three dates, if that at all.  And that’s not necessarily a bad thing, she very well could be a “quality” girl that’s worth waiting it out a bit for (with quality being totally subjective).  The main disadvantage of online dating is that your value to her may be pretty low initially, even if you do have a decent look and profile.  The high maintenance girls present you with an upward battle, the ones that are really looking forward to meeting you are extremely compliant.

Well, maybe “high maintenance” isn’t the best word.  Let’s call them “busy bodies”…professional girls of a certain caliber with a demanding job and lots of side projects they are involved in (i.e organizations, yoga classes, running a 5k, whatever). With them, they try and “fit you in” to their schedule and that kind of stuff never pans out well.  I met a nurse a few weeks ago that’s up at 6:30 in the morning, so she was already time-constrained to a couple of hours by the time we met up one night.  She also couldn’t make it on the Monday we planned because she was sick.  On the other hand, a girl I’m currently seeing who works at a non-profit had a schedule where she was working from home the next Friday morning.  So it was pretty easy for me to invite her back to my place.  And she also didn’t have any trouble showing up on time (even though she came all the way from bk) , didn’t try to reschedule, and didn’t try to negotiate minor details.  Those three things are the main checkpoints I use now.

closing out 2011

Posted: January 3, 2012 in dates, lays

Well I had a few interesting weeks to close out the year.

A little before the holiday, I met up with a Latin girl I met online.  She was down to meet the same day that we were messaging each other.  To make a long story short, we had a couple of drinks at my new date spot (which is literally right down the street) and I invited her up to check out something.  I literally forgot what I asked her to check out, I think it was either some kind of music or something on tv.  We start making out, I get my fingers in the pussy.  I get a little resistance, something like “We shouldn’t be doing this!” and I deflect that somehow by just saying something similar to throwing back the objection.  In short, I close.

Went on a date with an Italian girl who was asking a ton of questions.  She was interested for sure and asked me a ton of things like “Do I look like my pic online?” and throwing all sorts of player accusations at me.  I invited her up to watch some comedy show I really like (Patrice O’Neal, RIP) and she had a time constraint due to the holidays.  On the date, she asks me out for the following Wednesday and I agree.  When Wednesday rolls around though, she doesn’t show up.  I just forget about it but she hits me up on Friday.  My roomate was throwing a party and I invite her in.  She walks in, clearly done up, and bought a bottle of wine.  Our apartment is crowded so we just go into my room and watch the comedy show.  Beforehand, I just ramp up the conversation and talk about sex, how women like it, etc etc. I close the deal pretty easily.

Went out with a black girl, the first one in a long time.   To be pretty honest, I’ve avoided black girls since I moved into the city but this one was fucking gorgeous.  She had been flaky as hell prior to the meetup because I pushed drinks a little bit before the holiday and didn’t get a response.  I think there was some friendly chemistry, I could tell she was attracted.  But I tried to push her to listen to some music or something and found out that she works at Starbucks at 7am.   Needless to say, it didn’t happen.  I followed up a few days later but no response.

To start out 2012,  I went out with this redheaded Russian girl from the midwest.  Everything was pretty cool, I could tell she was attracted to me.  I had a built-in excuse to bounce to my place: “We threw a party and I have some leftover bottles of wine, help me finish one” and she said ok.  The more I date, the better I get at pulling because timing is pretty much everything.  I proposed it right after the waiter asked if I wanted another round.  Anyway, we get to the place, she gets a bit comfortable, I pour some wine, and we go into the room.  About 10 minutes in, I go for the kiss.  We start making out, I start going for her pussy, and get blocked.  So I break it off a little bit and just cuddle with her.  I think I went in again too fast because even though she was horny, she was blocking.   She goes to the bathroom and then is kind of like, “I gotta go”, but stays a little bit longer and makes out.  I get to suck some tits, but that’s about it.

Had a date with this blonde girl I met on NYE in Brooklyn.  I could tell she was into me, but I couldn’t get anything done that night because of her bad logistics.  Our date went well until I invited her up for a bottle of wine.  Then it went downhill fast since she initially accepted, and then backed off as we were leaving the bar.  Didn’t call her again after that.  Win some, lose some

About two weeks ago, I get a message from a little cute Japanese girl from OKcupid.  Her location said London, but she was in the city two weeks.  She wanted to meet up that same night.   Eventually, we meet up around 11pm, talk, and I invite her back to my house to listen to some music.  In short, I closed her probably within two hours of meeting her.

Last weekend, I took out a cute redhead on a 2nd date from POF who initially flaked on me.  The backstory about her is that:

I proposed a drink date and she was kinda doing the rescheduling thing via text.  I reassured her that we were only going to hang out for an hour or so to get to know each other.  After I said that, she texted “To be honest, I’m not interested in meeting up with anyone right now”.  I wished her well and that was it.  I deleted the whole text conversation and forgot about it.

About a month later, she texts me and asks if I want to hang out.  I honestly had been on a lot of various dates since then, and forgot about the whole thing.  I called her up just so I could remember who the fuck she was and then it clicked.  She was in the city kind of tipsy but asked to see me right then.  She wanted to meet in midtown but I insisted on her coming to my neighborhood.  We meet, make out, have a few drinks, and she payed a little bit of the bill because my card actually got declined! I make up a BS excuse about all of my christmas shopping and apologize.  She then comes up to my place for a few minutes to use the bathroom.  I try to turn on some music and we dance a bit, makeout some more.   She was trying to get out of there though, it was late, she was drunk as hell, and we both had to go to work.

We go on a 2nd date on Friday, this time with me taking her out to a restaurant (had a groupon though) and going to another bar for drinks.  She slept over but really wouldn’t let me do anything besides kiss her.

With the redhead, I’m wondering now if I went from Lover to Provider mode.  Been checking out Chase Amante’s blog post on paying for things.  I’m definitely going to keep it in mind if/when we meet again.   My card got declined and she ended up paying for a little less than half, and we still hung out the following Friday.  So, I’d rather be in the potential Lover category instead of starting things out displaying typical husband/boyfriend behavior.   The Japanese girl bought her own drinks.   I blew my opportunity with this blonde Dutch girl a few weeks ago after I got mad at her (long story, don’t feel like sharing).  But she was all over me at one point in terms of making out and kissing.  But she really really wanted to pay! I’m going to keep this in mind a bit more while dating so much. Women who want to pay tend to either do it out of politeness or they like me.

Online dating problem–solution

Posted: November 10, 2011 in dates, the game

In general, I’m liking my whole online experiment I’ve been doing for the last two months.  But, I think I’ve missed out on some key opportunities by being TOO aggressive and too outcome dependent (i.e I must have sex on the first date so I’m going to do what the community says: venue A, venue B, go for the pull at home).  A lot of the seduction community focuses on getting guys to escalate because a lot of guys (including myself) weren’t very touchy guys to begin with.  But once you get to a certain point to where taking a girl’s hand or kissing her neck isn’t a problem anymore, it’s time to calibrate a bit.  Online dating just requires a different physical model than girls you meet at night.

I recently came across blackdragon’s ebook and he’s got a different way of doing things to at least get sex by the second or third date.   The logic to just wait a bit is very simple

a) Even if she’s a slut and would gladly fuck you on the first date, she’ll gladly fuck on the second or third as long as the impression made was good.

b) over-escalate or try to pull a girl with “rules” like “no sex on the first date”, the chances to lose that girl increases.

The girl I’m currently seeing (the 2nd blonde girl I wrote about here) was strictly against fucking me the first time we met, but fucked me the second time.

So I’m just going to do some light touching on my first dates, limit the time spent, and keep them cheap as well.  I’m then going to try the standard long date of going to different venues and then going for the pull on the second or third date.  That’s the way I think to maximize my lays and then decide where I want the relationship to go.  Also, I’ve been inconsistent in writing about all of them, because I had three last week and only wrote about one (the Romanian)

okcupid is easier that night game

Posted: October 4, 2011 in dates, lays, the game

So I’ve still been going out and doing night game but I’ve been bored by it lately.  It just seems like going through the motions at times.  Various things have happened during the past few weeks to make me consider doing more approaches in the day time and/or only going out at night if it’s a social thing, not to “sarge”.  It’s honestly just making me misogynistic in a way because it’s like you’re looking at women at their best dressed combined with their worst attitudes thanks to a  alcohol and constant male attention.   I had a girl that I tried to approach walk up to me, make out with me, and leave without saying a word.  I had some other girl get all creeped out because I was at the bar alone one Friday night..and that’s after she started kissing my neck and making out with me.  Basically, I’m not excited by it anymore and probably need a few weeks off just to build up some anticipation and excitement for it.   Besides that, I’ve had some problems with the manager at my local spot, a spot I spend a lot of money at.

This 20 second clip summarizes my feelings about going out at night right now.

I started going hard on pof and okcupid 3 weeks ago and I like my results, 2 weeks 2 lays. Here’s a general breakdown

Went out with this tall, blonde, hipsterish girl.  We sent a few messages back and I asked her out pretty soon.  She actually accepts for that same Thursday night.   So we end up meeting at a bar but we leave so I could get a slice of pizza.  We then go to the hookah bar I’ve been taking my dates to.  We sit down, talk for about an hour, and then agree to go to another place.  I do a little bit of hand holding on the way just to see how comfortable she is with me.  We sit down at the other place and I go in for a little peck like 10 minutes in.  She starts touching my neck, touching my crotch, so I know it’s on but I didn’t do too much to kill the sexual tension.  While we were talking about music, she was talking about this group she really liked.  She suggested that we go dance at this place that we both talked about but I wasn’t for it.  I instead suggested that we go listen to her band and she got the innuendo.  So we grab some beers on the way to my place and then we go into my room.  I just load up my Pandora to play her music and she’s pretty relaxed.  I  close about 30 minutes in.

Last week, I went out with this short blonde girl.  I was very straightforward just like the last girl to get her out.  We set up a date for Thursday.  She comes to my area but ends up forgetting her id.  So instead of going to my planned hookah spot, I go get two bottles of wine.  My backup plan was to go to a BYOB hookah place but the owner ends up checking ID’s.  rats.  So instead I just go straight to my house and we chill in my room for about 4 hours or so.  As far as closing that night, it didn’t happen but she told me her weekend schedule was wide open.  So we meet on saturday, go out near her area,  and I slept over at her place and closed.

The first one is not going to be around at all, the second one probably will.  But honestly, the things I have to deal with when I’m out at night (cockblocking, rude staffs) don’t exist in online game so I’m going to keep it up.


date & lay with the Humiliatrix

Posted: August 26, 2011 in dates, lays

So Humiliatrix came through, took the train about 40 minutes to see me.  I got nervous that she was totally blowing me off because she texts me “Hey! Are you down because it’s a 40 minute train ride and my roomate made chicken”.  Mind you, I already set the date up on like Sunday night or something.  So I was really getting pissed because I thought she wouldn’t show.  She texts me at 7:30 saying she finished eating and is on her way.  At around 8:45, I get a call from her because she’s lost.  So I walk over and meet her at the train station. 

The first thing I notice is that she’s shorter than what I remembered, fucking heels.  But she’s cute though.  The first thing I guess we talk about is that she thought I was YOUNGER than her (24), and didn’t believe I was 30 at all.  I guess that’s why I’ve started doing nightgame at the younger places and always had a hunch that I’d do well there.  Anyway, we go straight to my house, under the premise of me texting her “I’ve got a suprise!” I sent her a text of a bar near my place earlier, but I just don’t even bother going there. 

She walks in, and I reveal my suprise: vodka and limes.  The night I met her, she wanted to do body shots.  And she texted me another day about them.  So I figured we could do them at my place.  So I make a bowl of sugar and we head into my room.  At first, she wouldn’t even sit down, but she got warmer afterwards.  The first 20-30 minutes was pretty dicey because she knew what was up, but I just kept being sarcastic, cracking jokes, and eventually she relaxed.  We do body shots and she really licks the sugar all over my neck, getting me all worked up.  I return the favor.  I give her a little peck on the lips and I’m getting a little resistance to go further.  She wants to change into some of my pajama pants so I give her a pair and put on my own pair as well.  A few more shots.  All during this time, she’s giving me shit about my musical taste, the date itself, how I just want to fuck her, etc etc.  At some point, I did say, “yea, you wouldn’t be here if I didn’t think you were sexy”.  Anyway, we’re laying on the bed and she’s pushing me to tell her more stuff about me because I do think at that point, she was thinking about having sex with me but just wanted to know who I am.  So I oblige and open up and she opens up in return.  There’s probably another kiss attempt made here, rejection.  We’re laying down, giving each other eye contact, silence. 

We plan on going to a bar because she wanted to go on an ‘adventure’.  Then she wants to talk about spirituality and shit and we argue about that for awhile.  She gets all mad because I don’t agree with her and at this point, I’m getting annoyed.  But we’re still kind of grabbing each other and stuff, I pick her up and kiss her a bit while I take her to the bathroom.  We leave and she gets on the phone for 10 minutes to check her voicemail in the hallway.  Then she forgets her keys and I tell her she’s annoying me.

We finally start walking to the bar and she’s still giving me shit about spirituality and my lack of it.  Whatever.  And as we sit down, she gets all apologetic about it thinking that she somehow wants to impose her views on me.  FINALLY, I found one commonality that we had: we both enjoy “Breaking Bad” so we plan on going back to my place to see it.  She gets all excited.  All of the physicality at this point is from her to me, her legs on my lap, her kissing my neck, her kissing me. 

We’re walking back and I’m rapping the song that was just on in the bar and she starts insulting me about that.  We’re both drunk at this point.  And when you’re drunk, you buy stupid shit.  So we go to the deli near my place and buy a fucking pineapple because she wanted one.  And I wanted a black&mild cigar.  We walk into my place and she starts cutting the pineapple and asks for my help.  Then she starts taking her clothes off right in my living room.  She goes and jumps in my bed and I come in still smoking my black & mild.  She takes a few drags and then she’s just kind of laying there.  I get on top, start talking dirty, grab a condom, and I’m finally in after all of that BS.  She’s actually a pretty decent fuck, I’m going to try and keep this one around.  She leaves the next morning, right when I leave before work.  Thank goodness for alarm clocks, because I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to make it to work today.