paying vs not paying or the law of least effort

Posted: December 20, 2011 in dates, lays, the game

About two weeks ago, I get a message from a little cute Japanese girl from OKcupid.  Her location said London, but she was in the city two weeks.  She wanted to meet up that same night.   Eventually, we meet up around 11pm, talk, and I invite her back to my house to listen to some music.  In short, I closed her probably within two hours of meeting her.

Last weekend, I took out a cute redhead on a 2nd date from POF who initially flaked on me.  The backstory about her is that:

I proposed a drink date and she was kinda doing the rescheduling thing via text.  I reassured her that we were only going to hang out for an hour or so to get to know each other.  After I said that, she texted “To be honest, I’m not interested in meeting up with anyone right now”.  I wished her well and that was it.  I deleted the whole text conversation and forgot about it.

About a month later, she texts me and asks if I want to hang out.  I honestly had been on a lot of various dates since then, and forgot about the whole thing.  I called her up just so I could remember who the fuck she was and then it clicked.  She was in the city kind of tipsy but asked to see me right then.  She wanted to meet in midtown but I insisted on her coming to my neighborhood.  We meet, make out, have a few drinks, and she payed a little bit of the bill because my card actually got declined! I make up a BS excuse about all of my christmas shopping and apologize.  She then comes up to my place for a few minutes to use the bathroom.  I try to turn on some music and we dance a bit, makeout some more.   She was trying to get out of there though, it was late, she was drunk as hell, and we both had to go to work.

We go on a 2nd date on Friday, this time with me taking her out to a restaurant (had a groupon though) and going to another bar for drinks.  She slept over but really wouldn’t let me do anything besides kiss her.

With the redhead, I’m wondering now if I went from Lover to Provider mode.  Been checking out Chase Amante’s blog post on paying for things.  I’m definitely going to keep it in mind if/when we meet again.   My card got declined and she ended up paying for a little less than half, and we still hung out the following Friday.  So, I’d rather be in the potential Lover category instead of starting things out displaying typical husband/boyfriend behavior.   The Japanese girl bought her own drinks.   I blew my opportunity with this blonde Dutch girl a few weeks ago after I got mad at her (long story, don’t feel like sharing).  But she was all over me at one point in terms of making out and kissing.  But she really really wanted to pay! I’m going to keep this in mind a bit more while dating so much. Women who want to pay tend to either do it out of politeness or they like me.

  1. kickbomber says:

    I’d say do stuff that doesn’t even cost money. There’s a bunch of stuff around where you live. There’s even a weird vintage clothing store on your street, pretty entertaining. But you’re old, so maybe that’s not your bracket anymore.

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