Validation seeking females

Posted: November 14, 2011 in the game

So Saturday night, I went out with a friend of mine to a local hipster-ish bar.  I was generally just laying in the cut the whole night, not doing that many approaches.  I think I only approached the ones I thought were insanely attractive and that’s it.  Online dating has taking the place of going to night venues in the pursuit of ass. I had a good time anyway, and got to know the bouncer of the place so I can get in the venue anytime I want even when they start denying other people.

So me and my friend are leaning against the wall near this dance floor enjoying a few beers.  He does an approach to this short nerdy girl and she just instantly starts dancing and making out with him.  It got kind of funny because usually, the random hookups and making out starts later on into the night and it was only like 12:30 and people were still coming to the bar.  So everybody ended up looking at them and laughing.  She was dancing with two other people and as usual, one of them taps her on the shoulder to get her attention.  After she makes out with him, she just walks away and mumbles something like, “sorry, but I have to go”.  And the funny thing about it is that she walked past him a few times after that, and I saw how she acted as if he didn’t exist.

We talked about the incident afterwards and he was really almost shocked at what happened.  He asked if that has happened to me or if I’ve seen something like that, and emphatically replied, “absolutely”.

  • Last time I went out to a rooftop bar, some girl I approached took one look at me and started making out with me.  When I tried to actually TALK to her, she didn’t say anything.
  • I was hanging with kickbomber one night and some girl was about to walk away from me, but grabbed me and tried to kiss me.  I denied her because I knew that’s all she wanted
  • The asian girl here…that make-out was probably within 2 minutes of meeting her.  And after she got her fill, she just left.
  • Went to some swanky bar about a month or so ago and made out with some Irish girl probably in a minute or so after she says something like “you’re lovely”

It goes on and on.  I’ve probably got about 5 or 6 personal examples of that since I moved to the city and plenty of random make-outs last year.  I’ve also seen it happen to plenty of other guys.  As men, we tend to want to process everything logically (“she kisses me, therefore she likes me and wants to get to know me”). Why do they do this kind of stuff? I think they just want some kind of validation and sexual satisfaction, and I think some of them are satisfied by that.  I remember these two aussie girls at a rooftop bar more than a year ago.  I ended up making out with one and the other one got jealous.  So all three of us go to the bar area to find a guy for her.  She ends up making out with a guy for about 30 seconds and walks away from him.  I recall her saying something like “all she needs is a fix” after she was done.

All that matters in these scenarios is if she finds the guy attractive.  So it serves as a boost to her self-esteem if she can make-out with some cute guy, but she has no interest in the guy at all beyond him fulfilling whatever validation she’s seeking at the moment.  Besides that, there’s the issue of looking slutty in front of her friends, which is why isolation is so key in most scenarios.  And it’s also why I think the girl who made out with my friend last night suddenly stopped after her friends tapped her.

There’s another type of validation-seeking female besides the one that does quick make-outs, and that’s the one that will make out with you for 20 minutes and won’t go home, won’t return your calls, nothing.  That’s why I’m generally leaning towards against making out with a girl at night in favor of touching and maintaining the sexual tension until I’ve got her at my place.  Of course, I say that as if that’s easy to do…especially if she’s attractive.

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